Detachment

Sep. 16th, 2009 11:14 pm
thealmondtree: (Default)
I think part of the difficulty in posting anything is a feeling of detachment, non-connection, almost unrealness, of watching the world go by in a lonely way.

Sitting on my kitchen window sill is a vase with a bunch of carnations and roses given to me this morning at toddler group by a female friend whose youngest started full-time school yesterday, "just because".

Ackk

Sep. 2nd, 2008 12:39 am
thealmondtree: (Default)
Just looked at the time and I really ought to go to sleep not sit reading a book and faffing about on the computer. Particularly considering that Theo will still get up at 6:30 regardless of what time I go to bed. Unless like last night he decides to wake screaming at 4:15 and refuse to be put down or go to sleep again for almost an hour an a half! And that on top of a self-inflicted late night on Saturday going to a Guiders' only camp-fire.

Sa Sa

Apr. 9th, 2008 11:22 pm
thealmondtree: (Default)
First thing Monday morning I thought I was going to be posting a "woe is me" type post but we seem to be coming through. This may get a little long!

On Sunday morning T came into bed for his usual feed and tried so hard but just couldn't manage to latch on. His mouth was clearly still sore and by then was also bruised and quite swollen particularly the top lip - made him look very "pouty"! During Sunday T didn't ask for a feed again at all.

On Monday when he woke up T came into bed but wouldn't even try to feed, which had me very upset. The guilt trip about the fact I'd left the pusher where he could climb it to tip it over and the fact that I'd really wanted to get to 2 years and we were so close but so far was pretty overwhelming. On top of the PND it was almost too much - I really just wanted to sit in a corner and cry.

Mid morning I was sitting in the kitchen and T was playing around when he suddenly came up and pointed vigorously saying "sa, sa" which is his way of asking for a feed. I figured there was nothing to loose by trying. It took a bit of perseverance but he did manage to latch on - standing up facing me with me sitting on an upright kitchen chair. He also had a short feed mid afternoon.

This morning he came into bed and asked for his feed. He did manage to get latched on and fed pretty well. For the last few months he's done a lot of swapping back and forth during his morning feed but this morning I had to stop him after a while as I was getting quite sore. Unfortunately the angle the upper tooth is now on means it was digging in to the base of my nipple. I suspect that I'm going to have to be a lot more precise about feeding positions than we have been recently!

Monday morning I rang our dentist to ask what, if anything, we should do about the tooth. The advice from the dentist is that since the tooth feels firm and T can still close his teeth together we should leave it. Obviously if it changes then we'll have to re-assess. The dentist says that in that case T would have to go to the dental hospital as probably the only thing that could be done would be to remove the tooth and that would almost certainly have to be done under general anaesthetic so we hope that doesn't have to happen.

My aim on the b/feeding front is to get to two years, which is coming up far too rapidly! I'm going away for a child-and-DH-free weekend (otherwise known as a Guide region arts advisers training weekend) mid-May which I rather think will be the end point of our breastfeeding journey. It will be interesting to see how DH copes with T for a weekend without me.
thealmondtree: (Theo)
I'm rather scared that today is going to have been a sudden traumatic end to T's b/feeding journey (at 23½ months).

While we were out today (clearing out the storage area at the hall where the Guides meet) T managed to fall and bang his face on the floor. He'd climbed into the pusher and managed to tip it over backwards. R picked him up and after a short time when T was still crying I went through to see what the problem was and saw that T was bleeding copiously. R hadn't noticed when he picked T up and, of course, couldn't see his face due to cuddling him. T wasn't keen for us to try and look in his mouth to see what was bleeding and I ended up taking him to A&E. Quite apart from the bleeding he was very subdued and we were all a bit worried about concussion. It seems the only damage is that he's managed to knock one of his top front teeth back so it's on a funny angle. Of course as its the weekend there isn't a dentist available to check with. Hopefully as its a milk tooth it won't cause any long-term problems.

Needless to say his mouth is sore. He had a sausage roll for a very late lunch and normally he just munches through but today we had to cut it up into tiny bite-size pieces so he didn't have to use his front teeth.

We're at a stage where T always b/feeds first thing on waking up (comes into bed with me for a really lovely snuggly cuddle feed) and then may or may not b/feed during the rest of the day depending on his mood and how busy he is.

This evening he asked for a b/feed and then just couldn't seem to get latched on right and it definitely seemed to be hurting him. The closest he got to latching on also made me wonder whether with the angle of his tooth it's going to hurt me! After trying to suck and crying a couple of times he just gave up.

We'll have to see how things go in the morning but I'm just scared it won't work. At least being Sunday R is home tomorrow.
thealmondtree: (Default)
Does anyone have a round tuit I can borrow? I keep thinking of things to post here and then when I next get near the computer I just can't be bothered. The can't be bothered feeling is still applying to lots of things.

Robin is basically out of work again. The final agreement hasn't been signed but he's getting a reasonable package. He's been at home since lunchtime on Thursday and is driving me up the wall! I wish he would give rather more help with Theo, although I'd have to admit it's basically what I expected. For the next few weeks he's going to have to give more help though as I have to have hernia surgery tomorrow afternoon which will mean I'm not allowed to lift for the next six weeks. With a one year old in the house!?!

A friend is looking after Theo for the day tomorrow. I've been trying to express so there's some milk for him but in the course of three days have only managed to get about 50ml which won't be enough. Partly this is the round tuit problem again and partly just that I don't get much at each time. Oh well, we've been trying to get him to drink water for a while. Thankfully I don't have to hold off feeding him after the anaesthetic so when Robin picks me up I'll be able to feed Theo.

Bad Mummy

Apr. 12th, 2007 03:39 pm
thealmondtree: (Default)
OK, so I think I win today's "bad mummy" contest. At 10:30 whilst standing in the bank in the next town (25 min drive away) I realise that I haven't actually changed Theo's nappy since we got up this morning. This means he had the same nappy on for over 12 hours. BIG OOPS!
thealmondtree: (Default)
So on top of everything else I'm trying to deal with, Theo now has some sort of vomitting/diarrhea thing and an ear infection (which may or may not be causing the vomitting/diarrhea) on top of his cold which just doesn't seem to want to go away.

T and I were supposed to drive to Cardiff today to spend the night with Cariad, who I was at uni with and was my bridesmaid. She now has an 18 month old daughter I haven't even met!

And tomorrow we're supposed to go to Bristol for a Guide training weekend. Goodness knows if we'll get there.

Robin's plans for this evening had involved the shower room and tiles, not trips to out-of-hours doctor services!
thealmondtree: (Default)
One of the worst things about PND is that it saps any inclination to do things. I've been meaning to update this journal for weeks (or is that months?). I also need to figure out what we did to T's webpage and correct it as it hasn't been updated for ages and currently has just the one photo up 'cause when trying to update it it got broken. And I'd had fun selecting the photos to go onto it. But that was a good day when I was managing to get more done than just get both of us up and dressed and fed.

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